Rain forests are being cut and burned, environmental groups are up in arms, and people fight to save these rapidly depleting resources. However, what about the habitat that is commonly referred to as the “…rainforest of the sea…” (“Coral Reef,” 2007)? Where is the media coverage relating to these incredibly bio-diverse marine habitats being threatened and destroyed; why does the public not know of the threats that have come to the coral reefs of the world? Although coral reefs are an important global resource, they are being threatened by human impact because of rising ocean temperatures, nutrient pollution, and aggressive commercial fishing tactics.
In order to understand what is threatening coral reefs, one must first understand how these beautiful structures are formed and why they are important on a global scale. According to The Coral Reef Alliance, coral reefs are very large limestone structures that have been created by the deposition of limestone from other living organisms (2007). However, there is a bit more to it then just that, one must understand that although the living part of a reef is only perhaps a meter thick, the reef itself may be over thirty meters thick; the rest of the thickness being composed of the skeletons of various calcifying marine organisms, including some types of coral, which are shed and pile up to form the infrastructure of the reef. On the outside of the reef there is the living coral and organisms which will eventually shed their own skeletons and over time become part of the infrastructure itself (Freeman, 2003). An astounding number of known marine species are supported by coral reefs, a number that nears twenty-five percent of all species; this fact alone makes coral reefs an absolutely amazing marine habitat worth preserving. However there are even more reasons that these incredibly beautiful and diverse structures deserve our attention. For one, they are important to the economy of many coastal regions since they form a habitat for thousands of species of fish, coral, and other marine plant and animal life, in addition to the fact that coral reefs are also a major attraction in the realm of tourism (The Coral Reef Alliance, 2007).
Even though these amazing habitats of the sea are so important to the marine ecosystem and to humans as well, they are still being threatened in multiple ways by the impact of humans on the environment; one way in which humans are impacting coral reefs is the rising temperature of the earth’s oceans. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) was reported in the magazine Water, Environment, and Technology as saying, “When coral is subjected to environmental stressors, such as warmer water temperatures, it expels the symbiotic micro-algae living within its tissues … these algae - the coral's food source - also provide the coral its color, making it appear bleached when absent. Coral bleaching occurring for more than 1 week can lead to coral death and the subsequent loss of coral reef habitats for a range of marine life…” ("Coral Threatened by Warmer Caribbean Waters," 2006). Scientists are currently studying the rising ocean temperatures and trying to determine the cause, so far there have been a few things discovered; for one, they believe that El Nino is a contributing factor to the current rise in ocean temperatures. According to R. Gutro of The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA), El Nino is a naturally occurring event that takes place every four to twelve years when the colder water of the deep ocean off the western coast of South America does not come up toward the surface, causing the natural cooling effect of this colder water to not take place, therefore creating overall warming of ocean temperatures (Gutro, 2004).
In addition to the naturally occurring phenomena of El Nino, scientists also believe that warming ocean temperatures are being caused by the increased levels of carbon dioxide within the atmosphere and humans are believed to be directly responsible for this increase, a situation often referred to as global warming. It is the result of multiple things which include carbon emissions from power plants and automobiles, as well as deforestation. This excess carbon dioxide is doing many things to the atmosphere and to the earth; for one, it is depleting the ozone layer, which in effect is causing the earth’s temperature to rise, which in turn causes the ocean’s temperature to rise. In addition, the excess carbon dioxide is being absorbed by the earth’s oceans, which is a natural process. However, due to the large excess of carbon dioxide in the air, there is an above average amount being absorbed by the ocean, leading to a phenomenon called ocean acidification. Ocean acidification, as described by Crystal Davis, in an article entitled "Ocean Acidification, the Other Threat of Rising CO2 Emissions," is a result of a reaction between carbon dioxide and water, and has caused the ocean’s acidity level to increase thirty percent already (2007). This phenomena has multiple effects which are in themselves currently being studied by scientists, but one of the major effects of ocean acidification is it’s degradation of calcifying marine organisms, which as stated before, includes various types of corals. Another type of calcifying marine organism is a kind of plankton which helps to shade the ocean from the direct rays of the sun, and as this type of plankton is affected by the acidity of the ocean it dies, creating a cycle of rising ocean temperatures. Cheryl Lyn Dybas wrote a paper called, “On a Collision Course: Ocean Plankton and Climate Change,” and in this paper she quotes scientists Helen Coxall and Steve D'Hondt as saying, “Plankton ecosystems in Earth's oceans took 3 million years to fully recover after the mass extinction event 65 million years ago…” (2006), this is obviously not good news for plankton, corals, reefs, or the global community as a whole. Global warming and the increased levels of carbon dioxide in the air are having multiple detrimental effects on coral reefs and the earth’s oceans in general. These effects all combine to create long term devastation of coral reefs due to coral bleaching, as well as the skeletons of corals being degraded by ocean acidification.
Another threat to coral reefs is nutrient pollution; attributed to many things, it is caused by such things as agricultural runoff, sewage, and deforestation (Bruno, 2004). More or less the problem is that different types of corals, which previously stated shed their skeletons to create the structure of coral reefs, are susceptible to various diseases. Two of the diseases that affect corals are Aspergillosis and Yellow Band Disease. In a paper entitled "Nutrient Pollution Aggravates Coral Diseases," John Bruno, an Assistant Professor of Marine Sciences at the University of North Carolina, and his colleagues, discussed the findings of their research conducted by exposing coral to concentrated nutrient levels found in agricultural fertilizers; their research shows that, as the coral was subjected to higher levels of nutrient concentrate, the severity of Aspergillosis and Yellow Band Disease both increased as well (2004). This shows that corals and in effect coral reefs are being affected by nutrient pollution. Humans have a great impact on the oceans of the earth, and in effect upon the organisms that live within the oceans; it is imperative that as a global community humans monitor the amount of waste that is allowed to spread into the ocean and affect coral reefs and all other resources that exist in the world that we live in.
At the same time, rising ocean temperatures, ocean acidification, and nutrient pollution are not the only things affecting coral reefs, there are also aggressive commercial fishing tactics that are having devastating effects on the reefs as well. There are various fishing practices that fall into this category, for example blast fishing, cyanide fishing, bottom-sea trawling, and over-fishing are all having negative effects on coral reefs. Blast fishing usually involves the use of dynamite or grenades to catch fish, inadvertently destroying anything that may be near the blast wave of the explosive device, such as coral or coral reefs. Cyanide fishing, according to The Coral Reef Alliance, is a process involving people diving down to a reef and leaving cyanide on the reef and on fast-moving fish, the cyanide basically stuns all of the fish in the area after a while, thus making them easy to catch. However, some marine organisms, including some types of coral become poisoned by the cyanide, in effect killing them (2007). At the same time bottom sea trawling is a commercial fishing technique that uses giant rollers that roll along the ocean floor to clear the path for fishing nets following behind the rollers; the problem being that the rollers destroy anything in their path, including reefs (The Coral Reef Alliance, 2007). Over-fishing of coral reef habitats is yet another problem, in essence disturbing the natural cycle of things, throwing off the food-chain and causing reefs to no longer function in the natural rhythm of nature.
The point being argued, that humans are having a direct detrimental effect on coral reefs, is refuted by some, usually the same people that oppose the idea that humans are a large contributing factor to global warming as a whole. The opposition to the idea of humans being a direct and large part of global warming seems to include those such as George W. Bush, current President of the United States. However, it is also interesting to look deeper into the issue at hand and see that most of those opposed to the idea of global warming and how to deal with it, are also either directly or indirectly involved in big business that would be financially hurt if the hand of blame was to fall toward the side of human involvement in global warming. It is also interesting to see the fact that in 2001 the Bush Administration voted down the Kyoto Protocol, an international treaty put together as a way of dealing with the growing global warming problem. However, with the Bush Administration’s not so popular reign of power the fact that the Kyoto Protocol was voted down proved to raise the publics eyes to the fact that perhaps there was a problem of global proportions and that it needed to be looked at closer. Clive Cook published an article in the publication Atlantic Monthly, that claims by the year 2003, over ninety-percent of Americans had heard of global warming, this is after George Bush had refused to sign the Kyoto Protocol. This is an interesting fact, a kind of twist of fate that a president who was not in support of a protocol designed to combat global warming, in effect caused the public to become more aware of the issue that he was trying to dodge (Cook, 2008). Another point of interest is that the Kyoto Protocol is being revised and is still under scrutiny by the international community, with the United States currently being one of the largest violators of the protocols demands; the Bush Administration still refuses to ratify the agreement. However, David Doniger of the Natural resources Defense Council was quoted in US News and World Report, as saying, that the international community knows that the U.S. is about have a change in political power as the elections draw near and a new administration will soon take office; this means that those trying to get the United States to ratify the Kyoto Protocol know that the Bush Administration is on it’s way out and are hoping that the new administration that takes office will be more receptive to the idea of dealing with carbon emissions and the effect that it is having on the global community (Lavelle, 2007).
As a whole, coral reefs are being threatened by human impact in multiple ways, both directly and indirectly. Carbon dioxide emissions are one of the largest areas of this impact affecting the reefs, but there is also pollution and commercial fishing. The reefs are incredible places to visit and recreate, the aesthetic beauty that they possess is almost unparalleled anywhere else on earth, however, the benefits of coral reefs as economic and environmental resources stretch even farther than their purely aesthetic value. It is important as a global community to think about the importance that these often overlooked structures play in the overall well-being of the earth’s oceans, and as a global environmentally conscience community, it is important to do all we can to ensure that these beautiful, diverse, and incredible habitats are not destroyed in the coming years.
Bruno, J. (2004). Nutrient Pollution Aggravates Coral Diseases. Water Environment & Technology, 16(3), 10. Retrieved March 24, 2008, from ASTA Database (BAST04117983).
Cook, C. (2008, April). Sins of Emission. Atlantic Monthly, 301(3), 32-34. Retrieved April 13, 2008, from Academic Search Premier Database (31229695).
Coral Reef. (2007). Encyclomedia: Free Online Encyclopedia. Retrieved 24 March, 2008, from http://www.encyclomedia.com/coral_reef.html
The Coral Reef Alliance. (2007). Retrieved March 24, 2008, from http://coralreef.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=62&Itemid=72
Coral Threatened by Warmer Caribbean Waters. (2006). Water Environment & Technology, 18(4), 29. Retrieved March 24, 2008, from ASTA Database (BAST06123051).
Davis, C. (2007, September). Ocean Acidification, the Other Threat of Rising CO2 Emissions. Time for Change. Retrieved March 24, 2008, from http://timeforchange.org/ocean-acidification-effect-of-global-warming
Dybas, C.L. (2006). On a Collision Course: Ocean Plankton and Climate Change. Bioscience, 56(8), 642-646. Retrieved March 24, 2008, from ASFA Database (7233874).
Freeman, M. (2003). About Corals & Coral Reefs. Coral Reef Adventure. Retrieved March 24, 2008, from http://www.coralfilm.com/about.html#issues
Gutro, R. (2004). NASA Satellites See El Nino Creep in From the Indian Ocean. National Atmospheric and Space Administration. Retrieved March 24, 2008, from http://www.nasa.gov/vision/earth/lookingatearth/elnino_ocean.html
Lavelle, M. (2007, December 10). Climate Clash, Round 2. US News and World Report, 143(20), 21-22. Retrieved April 13, 2008, from Academic Search Premier Database (27708734).
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Workshop for Xia Baker's "Research Paper (Second Draft)"
Overall
1. What do you like best about the paper?
-I really liked the paper, it was very good. It presented a lot of interesting statistical information, as well as a viewpoint from the author speaking their own words.
2. Authors particular area of concern.
- The author seemed to be concerned about whether the citations were used correctly when citing sources, as well as if all of the sources cited were used in the paper. I do believe that all sources cited are used in the paper, however at the end of paragraph six there is a citation that reads, “(Berg, E., (2005).” It is in the author of this workshop’s opinion that the author of the paper may want to look at that particular citation again, and perhaps revise it to follow the guidelines provided.
Thesis
3. Does the author clearly express his/her opinion of the topic in the thesis? What argument does the thesis make?- Yes the author definitely makes her opinion known within the thesis of the essay; she is arguing that polar bears will soon be extinct due to global warming, glacial recession, beach erosion, and environmental changes to the ecosystem.
4. What group of people agrees with the author? What group disagrees with the author?
- The author seems to be speaking to the public, however once againI did not notice anywhere that the author specifically addressed the oppositions viewpoint.
5. Does the paper have an argumentative thesis statement using ALTHOUGH and BECAUSE?
- The thesis statement of the paper does follow the format of the “although” and “because.” However, the thesis statement does not govern the content of the paper, as an example, in the conclusion paragraph the author is concluding a paper written about global climate change and global warming, however the thesis statement provided is dealing with polar bears directly.
Content.
6. On a scale of 1 to 10, how interesting did you find this paper to read? Be brutally honest!
- To be brutally honest, I would give this paper a 6.5 out of 10, with 10 being the best paper ever written. I think that’s really pretty good. The paper is overall really good, however the author of the workshop did notice several grammar and mechanical errors, as well as the fact that the paper’s thesis does not seem to coincide directly with the content of the paper itself.
7. Where can the author more fully develop ideas, either by providing examples or explaining/clarifying concepts for the reader? Be specific (e.g. “the 3rd is dullsville”; “the conclusion is really vague”).
- It is in my opinion that although there is a ton of really good information in the paper, the topic of polar bears is not brought about until the last point in the paper. However, given the fact that the thesis makes it appear as though polar bears and the effects that all the points listed are having on the polar bears is the main topic, perhaps they should be mentioned a bit more throughout the paper.
8. What kinds of objections might someone who disagrees with the author’s point of view raise?
- Opposition would probably argue that many of the effects being discussed are caused by natural cycles and phenomena rather than human impact. One topic in particular that is strongly refuted is the idea of global warming itself; some would say that global warming is just a natural cycle as the Earth is moving closer to the sun, etc. There are many opposing viewpoints that could be addressed. Again, since polar bears are supposed to be the central issue of the paper, perhaps they should be mentioned more throughout.
9. Has the author dealt with these objections?
- No the author needs to dedicate some more energy on addressing the opposition’s viewpoints. This was addressed in the first workshop for this paper, however the author of the workshop still finds nothing really mentioned for opposition, or in dealing with the fact that the paper seems to be steering away from the talk of polar bears.
10. Is the relationship between each paragraph and the thesis clear? If not, what suggestions do you have for the author to improve the connection?
- Perhaps try to put in a lead sentence in each paragraph that introduces a new point that contains the exact terminology describing the main point within the thesis statement. Style
11. Are there easy transitions from one paragraph to the next, or does the author jump from topic to topic?
- As stated earlier, I don’t believe that the paper jumps around too much, and the transitions are pretty good. However I would spend some time trying to make it more apparent while reading within each different main point, which main point that it is exactly is being discussed. Such as using the lead sentence method described above. As well as the fact that the topic of Polar Bears should be addressed more within the paper.
12. Does the opening of the essay capture the reader’s attention? How so? If not, what suggestions can you make that might strengthen the opening?
- The author needs to use a stronger voice in the opening of the paper in order to draw the reader’s attention, such as when the author writes, “Polar bears face possible extinction due to global warming” (Baker, 2008), one could write, “Polar bears are on the verge of extinction and the killer is global warming,” or at least something to that effect.
13. Does the concluding paragraph serve to bring the discussion to an end that logically follows from the thesis and its direction?
- The problem that I see within the conclusion of the essay relates back directly to the content as well, and was briefly addressed earlier in this workshop. That is that in the thesis statement polar bears and the effects that these various climate changes are having on them was the main topic of the paper; however, in the body of the paper polar bears aren’t really even mentioned again until the last main point is discussed. Perhaps the other points need to be related a little better to polar bears and why they are going extinct. In the conclusion the author writes, “…polar bears could live longer without having to go extinct, glaciers will not retreat as fast and beaches will not be eroded, blocking access to shorelines” (Baker, 2008), however this makes it sounds as if polar bear extinction was just a
point in the paper, not the main topic of the essay.
Research
14. How many different sources are cited in the paper?
- There are fifteen sources cited within the paper.
15. Does the author rely heavily on just 1 or 2 sources, or does the author equally use all of the sources to support the paper’s thesis?
- The author does rely on a couple of the sources more than others, however I don’t believe it is so much as to constitute a problem. Some sources are just more useful than others.
16. Does the author have more quotes in his/her paper than personal opinion?
- There is probably more research and quotes then personal opinion, however it is done in a very nice way so that the reader is not distracted by the information, and it is presented in an informative way. There is a lot of paraphrasing that can be attributed to the success of the authors style.
17. Are there any sources listed on the Works Cited or References that are not cited within the body of the essay? (This is a no-no)
- It does not appear that any sources are listed that were not used in the paper.
18. Is all the information retrieved from research, including opinion, ideas, paraphrases, quotes, and statistics, cited with in-text (parenthetical) citations? If not, list specifics of what needs to be cited (friends don’t let friends turn in plagiarized papers).
- Yes, it appears that everything is cited well within the paragraphs, including paraphrasing, except the one paraphrase citation pointed out earlier in the workshop, from paragraph six.
19. All quotes in research papers should be commented upon. Does the author comment after every quote? If not, help the author decide what the underlying reason behind putting the quote in the paper was.
- It appears that the author commented on pretty much every quote.Overall I would say the paper was well written, with a great blend of informative research and personal opinion. The biggest change that I would recommend is to relate the body of the paper more to the thesis; more to polar bears. Other than that there are a few more little suggestions up there that may or may not be helpful for you. Anyway though, I enjoyed reading your paper and wish you luck on your rewriting.
Baker, X. (2008). Global Warming Threatens Alaska’s Ecosystem. Xia’s English 213 Blog. Retrieved March 30, 2008, from http://xia-xia08.blogspot.com/2008/04/research-paper-second-draft-english-213.html
1. What do you like best about the paper?
-I really liked the paper, it was very good. It presented a lot of interesting statistical information, as well as a viewpoint from the author speaking their own words.
2. Authors particular area of concern.
- The author seemed to be concerned about whether the citations were used correctly when citing sources, as well as if all of the sources cited were used in the paper. I do believe that all sources cited are used in the paper, however at the end of paragraph six there is a citation that reads, “(Berg, E., (2005).” It is in the author of this workshop’s opinion that the author of the paper may want to look at that particular citation again, and perhaps revise it to follow the guidelines provided.
Thesis
3. Does the author clearly express his/her opinion of the topic in the thesis? What argument does the thesis make?- Yes the author definitely makes her opinion known within the thesis of the essay; she is arguing that polar bears will soon be extinct due to global warming, glacial recession, beach erosion, and environmental changes to the ecosystem.
4. What group of people agrees with the author? What group disagrees with the author?
- The author seems to be speaking to the public, however once againI did not notice anywhere that the author specifically addressed the oppositions viewpoint.
5. Does the paper have an argumentative thesis statement using ALTHOUGH and BECAUSE?
- The thesis statement of the paper does follow the format of the “although” and “because.” However, the thesis statement does not govern the content of the paper, as an example, in the conclusion paragraph the author is concluding a paper written about global climate change and global warming, however the thesis statement provided is dealing with polar bears directly.
Content.
6. On a scale of 1 to 10, how interesting did you find this paper to read? Be brutally honest!
- To be brutally honest, I would give this paper a 6.5 out of 10, with 10 being the best paper ever written. I think that’s really pretty good. The paper is overall really good, however the author of the workshop did notice several grammar and mechanical errors, as well as the fact that the paper’s thesis does not seem to coincide directly with the content of the paper itself.
7. Where can the author more fully develop ideas, either by providing examples or explaining/clarifying concepts for the reader? Be specific (e.g. “the 3rd is dullsville”; “the conclusion is really vague”).
- It is in my opinion that although there is a ton of really good information in the paper, the topic of polar bears is not brought about until the last point in the paper. However, given the fact that the thesis makes it appear as though polar bears and the effects that all the points listed are having on the polar bears is the main topic, perhaps they should be mentioned a bit more throughout the paper.
8. What kinds of objections might someone who disagrees with the author’s point of view raise?
- Opposition would probably argue that many of the effects being discussed are caused by natural cycles and phenomena rather than human impact. One topic in particular that is strongly refuted is the idea of global warming itself; some would say that global warming is just a natural cycle as the Earth is moving closer to the sun, etc. There are many opposing viewpoints that could be addressed. Again, since polar bears are supposed to be the central issue of the paper, perhaps they should be mentioned more throughout.
9. Has the author dealt with these objections?
- No the author needs to dedicate some more energy on addressing the opposition’s viewpoints. This was addressed in the first workshop for this paper, however the author of the workshop still finds nothing really mentioned for opposition, or in dealing with the fact that the paper seems to be steering away from the talk of polar bears.
10. Is the relationship between each paragraph and the thesis clear? If not, what suggestions do you have for the author to improve the connection?
- Perhaps try to put in a lead sentence in each paragraph that introduces a new point that contains the exact terminology describing the main point within the thesis statement. Style
11. Are there easy transitions from one paragraph to the next, or does the author jump from topic to topic?
- As stated earlier, I don’t believe that the paper jumps around too much, and the transitions are pretty good. However I would spend some time trying to make it more apparent while reading within each different main point, which main point that it is exactly is being discussed. Such as using the lead sentence method described above. As well as the fact that the topic of Polar Bears should be addressed more within the paper.
12. Does the opening of the essay capture the reader’s attention? How so? If not, what suggestions can you make that might strengthen the opening?
- The author needs to use a stronger voice in the opening of the paper in order to draw the reader’s attention, such as when the author writes, “Polar bears face possible extinction due to global warming” (Baker, 2008), one could write, “Polar bears are on the verge of extinction and the killer is global warming,” or at least something to that effect.
13. Does the concluding paragraph serve to bring the discussion to an end that logically follows from the thesis and its direction?
- The problem that I see within the conclusion of the essay relates back directly to the content as well, and was briefly addressed earlier in this workshop. That is that in the thesis statement polar bears and the effects that these various climate changes are having on them was the main topic of the paper; however, in the body of the paper polar bears aren’t really even mentioned again until the last main point is discussed. Perhaps the other points need to be related a little better to polar bears and why they are going extinct. In the conclusion the author writes, “…polar bears could live longer without having to go extinct, glaciers will not retreat as fast and beaches will not be eroded, blocking access to shorelines” (Baker, 2008), however this makes it sounds as if polar bear extinction was just a
point in the paper, not the main topic of the essay.
Research
14. How many different sources are cited in the paper?
- There are fifteen sources cited within the paper.
15. Does the author rely heavily on just 1 or 2 sources, or does the author equally use all of the sources to support the paper’s thesis?
- The author does rely on a couple of the sources more than others, however I don’t believe it is so much as to constitute a problem. Some sources are just more useful than others.
16. Does the author have more quotes in his/her paper than personal opinion?
- There is probably more research and quotes then personal opinion, however it is done in a very nice way so that the reader is not distracted by the information, and it is presented in an informative way. There is a lot of paraphrasing that can be attributed to the success of the authors style.
17. Are there any sources listed on the Works Cited or References that are not cited within the body of the essay? (This is a no-no)
- It does not appear that any sources are listed that were not used in the paper.
18. Is all the information retrieved from research, including opinion, ideas, paraphrases, quotes, and statistics, cited with in-text (parenthetical) citations? If not, list specifics of what needs to be cited (friends don’t let friends turn in plagiarized papers).
- Yes, it appears that everything is cited well within the paragraphs, including paraphrasing, except the one paraphrase citation pointed out earlier in the workshop, from paragraph six.
19. All quotes in research papers should be commented upon. Does the author comment after every quote? If not, help the author decide what the underlying reason behind putting the quote in the paper was.
- It appears that the author commented on pretty much every quote.Overall I would say the paper was well written, with a great blend of informative research and personal opinion. The biggest change that I would recommend is to relate the body of the paper more to the thesis; more to polar bears. Other than that there are a few more little suggestions up there that may or may not be helpful for you. Anyway though, I enjoyed reading your paper and wish you luck on your rewriting.
Baker, X. (2008). Global Warming Threatens Alaska’s Ecosystem. Xia’s English 213 Blog. Retrieved March 30, 2008, from http://xia-xia08.blogspot.com/2008/04/research-paper-second-draft-english-213.html
The U.S. Army - Road to Indecision? (Essay #3, Final Draft)
From television commercials to radio broadcasts, no matter where one goes there are always recruitment slogans and jargon being thrown around to join the U.S. Army. Most of the slogans and statements focus on one of two things; the first thing being a call to duty of American’s to serve their country and the other one being a claim that joining the army and becoming a soldier will make them a “better” person, such as the following statement found on the U.S. Army Recruitment Website, “The army provides a remarkable environment for personal growth…” (U.S. Army, 2008). This claim is invalid and the allusions that the recruitment personnel use are far from true. Although joining the army is marketed as something that will build character and make one a stronger individual, joining as a young adult actually causes a degradation of morals, character, and independence because while in the army one is encouraged to partake in activities that never allow them to grow up, one's choices are very limited and mandated by someone else, and one is forced to adhere to strict regulations without being able to have free thought in deciding one's own actions.
In today’s world there is a definite need for a combat ready force capable of defending the nation at a moments notice; the author is not claiming to refute the fact that the United States of America needs a military, nor is the author making the claim that it is not honorable to serve in any branch of the military, including the U.S. Army. However, the author is claiming that the recruiters working to draw the attention of the young adults within this country are making claims and allusions to things that are not true in their ploy to enlist young people into their ranks.
Most people think that “growing up” and becoming mature means something along the lines of learning enough life skills to move out on one’s own, becoming financially independent from one’s parents or guardian, and more or less becoming independent in general. The army often markets itself as a path to independence; a way for someone to magically step through a door and go from being a boy to a man, or a girl to a woman, however this is not true. In fact the day to day activities of most soldiers do not at all reflect the responsibilities or norms of being a mature adult in civilian life. While on the job it is true that soldiers are given responsibility for a variety of tasks and given leadership roles that would normally not be given to them in the civilian world; however, it is also true that after the last formation of the day most soldiers find themselves holed up in their barracks room playing video games and drinking beer. When the weekend rolls around you will find most soldiers getting drunk, that is the major pastime of the soldier. Now this may sound like the normal college age pastime, and may not in fact sound that alarming, until one looks at the fact that drinking and video games not only serve as the main hobby and interest of the college age soldiers, but also of the over-forty age group as well. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), in a report entitled Alcohol Use and Preventing Alcohol-Related Problems Among Young Adults in the Military, prepared by Genevieve Ames and Carol Cunradi, “Of the young men in all branches of the military, 32.2 percent engaged in heavy drinking, compared with 17.8 percent of civilian men” (Ames & Cunradi, 2004). To the public the army gives off the front of caring about the soldiers and looking down upon alcoholism and drinking in general, however when it comes to what goes on day to day within the walls of the barracks, alcohol flows freely and soldiers are encouraged to drink while off duty. Could this be a ploy to keep young adults in the army as time goes by and the choice comes up to stay in or get out; to make them so used to not growing up that they cannot face the “real world” when the time of their enlistment has come to an end?
In the “real world” when a young adult graduates high school and is faced with the decisions of life, they often find it hard at first to cope with the decisions at hand. The young adult in question has to decide what college to go to, what to major in, what kind of job to get, what town they want to live in, etc. However, upon entering the army the individual is stripped of all choice in these matters. The last decision one makes upon joining the army is what job they would like to do, beyond that it is the government that calls the shots in every aspect of one’s life. A young person in the army is told what to wear, what to eat, where to eat and when, where to live, and when they will be moving; there is no longer any time in the young persons life to make decisions for themselves. So how does this lead to independence and becoming a stronger person? It doesn’t, this leads to one being dependent upon someone else to make the decision within one’s life, causing a very hard to break personality trait of indecision if and when that young person decides to one day leave the army life and return to the civilian world.
Bad lifestyle choices and indecision are not the only things that the army does not talk about when offering their recruitment propaganda, they also fail to mention the fact that on a day to day basis a soldier is told how they will act; there is no room for an individual in the army, truth be told the word “individual” actually has bad connotations attached to it in modern day army life. When one acts as an individual in the army it is looked at as an act of defiance against the very foundation of the army way, instead one is expected to follow everyone else and do as they are told; free-thinking and open thought are looked down upon until one gains a certain amount of rank, which is looked at like respect in the civilian world. However, unlike the civilian world, where one is more times than not looked well upon for offering unique ideas and thinking “outside the box,” the army discourages this because many leaders are not properly trained, and instead rely upon scare tactics and threats to demand respect instead of earning it. This in itself causes those who join the army to become less independent and more reliant upon others to not only make decisions for them, but to also define them.
The decision of a young person to join the United States Army is a very important and life changing choice; a decision that will change the rest of their life. The author, after having served five years in both garrison and combat operations is in no way saying that the army is a bad choice for anyone. Some of the brightest and most incredible people the author ever met were among those he served with while in the U.S. Army; however the decision to join needs to be given the respect that it deserves. If one is thinking of joining the army, make sure the person is doing it for the right reasons, not because they have some idealistic idea that it is going to make them a better person. No matter what reason one joins, make sure they already have a good bearing on who they are and what type of morals and ethics they hold; make sure they already have a good character and enter the army with the idea that the individual is going to make it a better organization to serve, instead of the organization making the individual a better person for serving.
Ames, G., & Cunradi, C. (2004). Alcohol Use and Preventing Alcohol-Related Problems Among Young Adults in the Military. Retrieved April 12, 2008, from http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/arh284/252-257.htm
U.S. Army. (2008). Retrieved April 12, 2008, from http://www.goarmy.com/for_parents/personal_growth.jsp
In today’s world there is a definite need for a combat ready force capable of defending the nation at a moments notice; the author is not claiming to refute the fact that the United States of America needs a military, nor is the author making the claim that it is not honorable to serve in any branch of the military, including the U.S. Army. However, the author is claiming that the recruiters working to draw the attention of the young adults within this country are making claims and allusions to things that are not true in their ploy to enlist young people into their ranks.
Most people think that “growing up” and becoming mature means something along the lines of learning enough life skills to move out on one’s own, becoming financially independent from one’s parents or guardian, and more or less becoming independent in general. The army often markets itself as a path to independence; a way for someone to magically step through a door and go from being a boy to a man, or a girl to a woman, however this is not true. In fact the day to day activities of most soldiers do not at all reflect the responsibilities or norms of being a mature adult in civilian life. While on the job it is true that soldiers are given responsibility for a variety of tasks and given leadership roles that would normally not be given to them in the civilian world; however, it is also true that after the last formation of the day most soldiers find themselves holed up in their barracks room playing video games and drinking beer. When the weekend rolls around you will find most soldiers getting drunk, that is the major pastime of the soldier. Now this may sound like the normal college age pastime, and may not in fact sound that alarming, until one looks at the fact that drinking and video games not only serve as the main hobby and interest of the college age soldiers, but also of the over-forty age group as well. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), in a report entitled Alcohol Use and Preventing Alcohol-Related Problems Among Young Adults in the Military, prepared by Genevieve Ames and Carol Cunradi, “Of the young men in all branches of the military, 32.2 percent engaged in heavy drinking, compared with 17.8 percent of civilian men” (Ames & Cunradi, 2004). To the public the army gives off the front of caring about the soldiers and looking down upon alcoholism and drinking in general, however when it comes to what goes on day to day within the walls of the barracks, alcohol flows freely and soldiers are encouraged to drink while off duty. Could this be a ploy to keep young adults in the army as time goes by and the choice comes up to stay in or get out; to make them so used to not growing up that they cannot face the “real world” when the time of their enlistment has come to an end?
In the “real world” when a young adult graduates high school and is faced with the decisions of life, they often find it hard at first to cope with the decisions at hand. The young adult in question has to decide what college to go to, what to major in, what kind of job to get, what town they want to live in, etc. However, upon entering the army the individual is stripped of all choice in these matters. The last decision one makes upon joining the army is what job they would like to do, beyond that it is the government that calls the shots in every aspect of one’s life. A young person in the army is told what to wear, what to eat, where to eat and when, where to live, and when they will be moving; there is no longer any time in the young persons life to make decisions for themselves. So how does this lead to independence and becoming a stronger person? It doesn’t, this leads to one being dependent upon someone else to make the decision within one’s life, causing a very hard to break personality trait of indecision if and when that young person decides to one day leave the army life and return to the civilian world.
Bad lifestyle choices and indecision are not the only things that the army does not talk about when offering their recruitment propaganda, they also fail to mention the fact that on a day to day basis a soldier is told how they will act; there is no room for an individual in the army, truth be told the word “individual” actually has bad connotations attached to it in modern day army life. When one acts as an individual in the army it is looked at as an act of defiance against the very foundation of the army way, instead one is expected to follow everyone else and do as they are told; free-thinking and open thought are looked down upon until one gains a certain amount of rank, which is looked at like respect in the civilian world. However, unlike the civilian world, where one is more times than not looked well upon for offering unique ideas and thinking “outside the box,” the army discourages this because many leaders are not properly trained, and instead rely upon scare tactics and threats to demand respect instead of earning it. This in itself causes those who join the army to become less independent and more reliant upon others to not only make decisions for them, but to also define them.
The decision of a young person to join the United States Army is a very important and life changing choice; a decision that will change the rest of their life. The author, after having served five years in both garrison and combat operations is in no way saying that the army is a bad choice for anyone. Some of the brightest and most incredible people the author ever met were among those he served with while in the U.S. Army; however the decision to join needs to be given the respect that it deserves. If one is thinking of joining the army, make sure the person is doing it for the right reasons, not because they have some idealistic idea that it is going to make them a better person. No matter what reason one joins, make sure they already have a good bearing on who they are and what type of morals and ethics they hold; make sure they already have a good character and enter the army with the idea that the individual is going to make it a better organization to serve, instead of the organization making the individual a better person for serving.
Ames, G., & Cunradi, C. (2004). Alcohol Use and Preventing Alcohol-Related Problems Among Young Adults in the Military. Retrieved April 12, 2008, from http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/arh284/252-257.htm
U.S. Army. (2008). Retrieved April 12, 2008, from http://www.goarmy.com/for_parents/personal_growth.jsp
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Losing Battle for Coral (Research Paper - Rough Draft #2)
Rain forests are being cut and burned, environmental groups are up in arms, and people fight to save these rapidly depleting resources. However, what about the habitat that is commonly referred to as the “…rainforest of the sea…” (“Coral Reef,” 2007)? Where is the media coverage relating to these incredibly bio-diverse marine habitats being threatened and destroyed; why does the public not know of the threats that have come to the coral reefs of the world? Although coral reefs are an important global resource, they are being threatened by human impact because of rising ocean temperatures, nutrient pollution, and aggressive commercial fishing tactics.
In order to understand what is threatening coral reefs, one must first understand how these beautiful structures are formed and why they are important on a global scale. According to The Coral Reef Alliance, “Coral reefs are massive structures made of limestone that is deposited by living things” (2007); however, there is a bit more to it then just that. One must understand that, “Old coral reefs may be over 30 meters (98 feet) thick, but the living part is only a thin veneer of corals and other organisms, perhaps only a meter (about 3 feet) thick on the surface” (Freeman, 2003). The actual structure of a coral reef is composed of the skeletons of various calcifying marine organisms, including some types of corals, which are shed and pile up to form the infrastructure of the reef. On the outside of the reef there is the living corals and organisms which will eventually shed their own skeletons and over time become part of the infrastructure (Freeman, 2003).
According to The Coral Reef Alliance, “… [They] support over twenty-five percent of all known marine species” (2007). This is an astounding number of species which in itself makes coral reefs an absolutely amazing habitat well worth preserving. However there are even more reasons that these incredibly beautiful and diverse structures deserve our attention; they are important to the economy of many coastal regions due to commercial fish habitats as well as being a major attraction in the realm of tourism, they are, “…home to over 4,000 species of fish, 700 species of coral, and thousands of other forms of plant and animal life” (The Coral Reef Alliance, 2007), as well as providing a very important structural protection for beaches and coastline areas around the world.
As stated, coral reefs are being threatened in multiple ways by the impact of humans on their environment; one way in which humans are impacting coral reefs is the rising temperature of the earth’s oceans. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) was cited in the magazine Water, Environment, and Technology as saying, “When coral is subjected to environmental stressors, such as warmer water temperatures, it expels the symbiotic micro-algae living within its tissues … these algae - the coral's food source - also provide the coral its color, making it appear bleached when absent. Coral bleaching occurring for more than 1 week can lead to coral death and the subsequent loss of coral reef habitats for a range of marine life…” ("Coral Threatened by Warmer Caribbean Waters," 2006). Scientists are currently studying the rising ocean temperatures and trying to determine the cause, so far there have been a few things discovered; for one, scientists believe that El Nino is a contributing factor to the current rise in ocean temperatures. According to The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA), El Nino is a, “…warming of the ocean surface off the western coast of South America that occurs every 4 to 12 years when cold, nutrient-rich water does not come up from the ocean bottom” (2004). However, in addition to the naturally occurring phenomena of El Nino, scientists also believe that warming ocean temperatures are being caused by the increased levels of carbon dioxide within the atmosphere. Humans are believed to be directly responsible for this increased level of carbon dioxide in the air, a situation often referred to as global warming; it is the result of multiple things which include carbon emissions from power plants and automobiles, as well as deforestation. This excess carbon dioxide is doing many things to the atmosphere and to the earth. For one, it is depleting the ozone layer, which in effect is causing the earth’s temperature to rise, which in turn causes the ocean’s temperature to rise. In addition, the excess carbon dioxide is being absorbed by the earth’s oceans, which is a natural process. However, due to the large excess of carbon dioxide in the air, there is an above average amount being absorbed by the ocean, leading to a phenomenon called ocean acidification. Ocean acidification, according to Crystal Davis, in an article entitled "Ocean Acidification, the Other Threat of Rising CO2 Emissions," “…occurs when CO2 in the atmosphere reacts with water to create carbonic acid, [it has] has already increased ocean acidity by 30 percent…” (2007). This phenomena has multiple effects which are in themselves currently being studied by scientists, but one of the major effects of ocean acidification is it’s degradation of calcifying marine organisms, which as stated before, corals are. Another type of calcifying marine organism is a type of plankton which helps to shade the ocean from the direct rays of the sun, and as this type of plankton is affected by the acidity of the ocean it dies, creating a cycle of rising ocean temperatures. Cheryl Lyn Dybas wrote a paper called, “On a Collision Course: Ocean Plankton and Climate Change,” and in this paper she quotes scientists Helen Coxall and Steve D'Hondt as saying, “Plankton ecosystems in Earth's oceans took 3 million years to fully recover after the mass extinction event 65 million years ago…” (2006), this is obviously not good news for plankton, corals, reefs, or the global community as a whole. Global warming and the increased levels of carbon dioxide in the air are having multiple detrimental effects on the oceans and on coral reefs in general. These effects all combine to create long term devastation of coral reefs due to coral bleaching, as well as the skeletons of corals being degraded by ocean acidification.
Another threat to coral reefs is nutrient pollution; attributed to many things, nutrient pollution is caused by, “…agricultural runoff, sewage pollution, and deforestation” (Bruno, 2004). More or less the problem is that different types of corals, which previously stated shed their skeletons to create the structure of coral reefs, are susceptible to various diseases. Two of the diseases that affect corals are Aspergillosis and Yellow Band Disease. In a paper entitled "Nutrient Pollution Aggravates Coral Diseases," John Bruno, an Assistant Professor of Marine Sciences at the University of North Carolina, and his colleagues discussed the findings of their research conducted by exposing coral to concentrated nutrient levels found in agricultural fertilizers; their research shows that, “As nutrient concentrations increased two- to fivefold, yellow-band-related tissue loss … nearly doubled… The severity of Aspergillosis … also increased as nutrient levels increased. This shows that corals and in effect coral reefs are being affected by nutrient pollution. Humans have a great impact on the oceans of the earth, and in effect upon the organisms that live within the oceans; it is imperative that as a global community humans monitor the amount of waste that is allowed to spread into the ocean and affect coral reefs and all other resources that exist in the ocean.
At the same time, rising ocean temperatures, ocean acidification, and nutrient pollution are not the only things affecting coral reefs, there are also aggressive commercial fishing activities that are having adverse effects on the reefs as well. There are various fishing practices that fall into this category, for example blast fishing, cyanide fishing, bottom sea trawling, and over-fishing are all having negative effects on coral reefs. Blast fishing usually involves the use of dynamite or grenades to catch fish, inadvertently destroying anything that may be near the blast wave of the explosive device, such as coral or coral reefs. Cyanide fishing, according to The Coral Reef Alliance, is a process involving, “fishers dive down to the reef and squirt[ing] cyanide in coral crevices and on the fast-moving fish, to stun the fish making them easy to catch. Although some large tropical fish can metabolize cyanide, smaller fish and other marine animals, such as coral polyps, are poisoned by the chemical cloud produced during this process” (2007). At the same time bottom sea trawling is a commercial fishing technique using, “…steel rollers that clear the path for the net to come behind, so that the net doesn't snag on anything” (The Coral Reef Alliance, 2007), inevitably the rollers also destroy anything in their path, including delicate coral reefs. Of course another problem is over-fishing of coral reef habitats. This in essence disturbs the natural cycle of things, throwing off the food-chain and causing reefs to no longer function in the natural rhythm of nature.
The point being argued, that humans are having a direct detrimental effect on coral reefs, is refuted by some, usually the same people that oppose the idea that humans are a large contributing factor to global warming as a whole. The opposition to the idea of humans being a direct and large part of global warming seems to include those such as George W. Bush, current President of the United States. However, it is also interesting to look deeper into the issue at hand and see that most of those opposed to the idea of global warming and how to deal with it, are also either directly or indirectly involved in big business that would be financially hurt if the hand of blame was to fall toward the side of human involvement in global warming. It is also interesting to see the fact that in 2001 the Bush Administration voted down the Kyoto Protocol, an international treaty put together as a way of dealing with the growing global warming problem. However, with the Bush Administration’s not so popular reign of power the fact that the Kyoto Protocol was voted down proved to raise the publics eyes to the fact that perhaps there was a problem of global proportions and that it needed to be looked at closer. Clive Cook published an article in the publication Atlantic Monthly, that claims by the year, “…2003, after the president had killed any prospect of American involvement [with the Kyoto Protocol], more than 90 percent of Americans were telling pollsters that they had heard of global warming…” (Cook, 2008). This is an interesting fact, a kind of twist of fate that a president who was not in support of a protocol designed to combat global warming, in effect caused the public to become more aware of the issue that he was trying to dodge (Cook, 2008). Another point of interest is that the Kyoto Protocol is being revised and is still under scrutiny by the international community, with the United States currently being one of the largest violators of the protocols demands, the Bush Administration still refuses to ratify the agreement. However, David Doniger of the Natural resources Defense Council was quoted in US News and World Report, as saying, “They are aware the U.S. is going to field a different team in the second half of these negotiations than in the first half" (Lavelle, 2007), meaning that those trying to get the United States to ratify the protocol know that the Bush Administration is on it’s way out and are hoping that the new administration that takes office will be more receptive to the idea of dealing with carbon emissions and the effect that it is having on the global community (Lavelle, 2007).
As a whole, coral reefs are being threatened by human impact in multiple ways both directly and indirectly. Carbon dioxide emissions are one of the largest areas of this impact affecting reefs, but there is also pollution and commercial fishing. The reefs are incredible places to visit and recreate, the aesthetic beauty that they possess is almost unparalleled anywhere else on earth, however the benefits of coral reefs as economic and environmental resources stretch even farther than the purely aesthetic value of them. It is important as a global community to think about the importance that these often overlooked structures play in the overall well-being of the earth’s oceans, and as a global environmentally conscience community, it is important to do all we can to ensure that these beautiful, diverse, and incredible habitats are not destroyed in the coming years.
Bruno, J. (2004). Nutrient Pollution Aggravates Coral Diseases. Water Environment & Technology, 16(3), 10. Retrieved March 24, 2008, from ASTA Database (BAST04117983).
Cook, C. (2008, April). Sins of Emission. Atlantic Monthly, 301(3), 32-34. Retrieved April 13, 2008, from Academic Search Premier Database (31229695).
Coral Reef. (2007). Encyclomedia: Free Online Encyclopedia. Retrieved 24 March, 2008, from http://www.encyclomedia.com/coral_reef.html
The Coral Reef Alliance. (2007). Retrieved March 24, 2008, from http://coralreef.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=62&Itemid=72
Coral Threatened by Warmer Caribbean Waters. (2006). Water Environment & Technology, 18(4), 29. Retrieved March 24, 2008, from ASTA Database (BAST06123051).
Davis, C. (2007, September). Ocean Acidification, the Other Threat of Rising CO2 Emissions. Time for Change. Retrieved March 24, 2008, from http://timeforchange.org/ocean-acidification-effect-of-global-warming
Dybas, C.L. (2006). On a Collision Course: Ocean Plankton and Climate Change. Bioscience, 56(8), 642-646. Retrieved March 24, 2008, from ASFA Database (7233874).
Freeman, M. (2003). About Corals & Coral Reefs. Coral Reef Adventure. Retrieved March 24, 2008, from http://www.coralfilm.com/about.html#issues
Gutro, R. (2004). NASA Satellites See El Nino Creep in From the Indian Ocean. National Atmospheric and Space Administration. Retrieved March 24, 2008, from http://www.nasa.gov/vision/earth/lookingatearth/elnino_ocean.html
Lavelle, M. (2007, December 10). Climate Clash, Round 2. US News and World Report, 143(20), 21-22. Retrieved April 13, 2008, from Academic Search Premier Database (27708734).
In order to understand what is threatening coral reefs, one must first understand how these beautiful structures are formed and why they are important on a global scale. According to The Coral Reef Alliance, “Coral reefs are massive structures made of limestone that is deposited by living things” (2007); however, there is a bit more to it then just that. One must understand that, “Old coral reefs may be over 30 meters (98 feet) thick, but the living part is only a thin veneer of corals and other organisms, perhaps only a meter (about 3 feet) thick on the surface” (Freeman, 2003). The actual structure of a coral reef is composed of the skeletons of various calcifying marine organisms, including some types of corals, which are shed and pile up to form the infrastructure of the reef. On the outside of the reef there is the living corals and organisms which will eventually shed their own skeletons and over time become part of the infrastructure (Freeman, 2003).
According to The Coral Reef Alliance, “… [They] support over twenty-five percent of all known marine species” (2007). This is an astounding number of species which in itself makes coral reefs an absolutely amazing habitat well worth preserving. However there are even more reasons that these incredibly beautiful and diverse structures deserve our attention; they are important to the economy of many coastal regions due to commercial fish habitats as well as being a major attraction in the realm of tourism, they are, “…home to over 4,000 species of fish, 700 species of coral, and thousands of other forms of plant and animal life” (The Coral Reef Alliance, 2007), as well as providing a very important structural protection for beaches and coastline areas around the world.
As stated, coral reefs are being threatened in multiple ways by the impact of humans on their environment; one way in which humans are impacting coral reefs is the rising temperature of the earth’s oceans. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) was cited in the magazine Water, Environment, and Technology as saying, “When coral is subjected to environmental stressors, such as warmer water temperatures, it expels the symbiotic micro-algae living within its tissues … these algae - the coral's food source - also provide the coral its color, making it appear bleached when absent. Coral bleaching occurring for more than 1 week can lead to coral death and the subsequent loss of coral reef habitats for a range of marine life…” ("Coral Threatened by Warmer Caribbean Waters," 2006). Scientists are currently studying the rising ocean temperatures and trying to determine the cause, so far there have been a few things discovered; for one, scientists believe that El Nino is a contributing factor to the current rise in ocean temperatures. According to The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA), El Nino is a, “…warming of the ocean surface off the western coast of South America that occurs every 4 to 12 years when cold, nutrient-rich water does not come up from the ocean bottom” (2004). However, in addition to the naturally occurring phenomena of El Nino, scientists also believe that warming ocean temperatures are being caused by the increased levels of carbon dioxide within the atmosphere. Humans are believed to be directly responsible for this increased level of carbon dioxide in the air, a situation often referred to as global warming; it is the result of multiple things which include carbon emissions from power plants and automobiles, as well as deforestation. This excess carbon dioxide is doing many things to the atmosphere and to the earth. For one, it is depleting the ozone layer, which in effect is causing the earth’s temperature to rise, which in turn causes the ocean’s temperature to rise. In addition, the excess carbon dioxide is being absorbed by the earth’s oceans, which is a natural process. However, due to the large excess of carbon dioxide in the air, there is an above average amount being absorbed by the ocean, leading to a phenomenon called ocean acidification. Ocean acidification, according to Crystal Davis, in an article entitled "Ocean Acidification, the Other Threat of Rising CO2 Emissions," “…occurs when CO2 in the atmosphere reacts with water to create carbonic acid, [it has] has already increased ocean acidity by 30 percent…” (2007). This phenomena has multiple effects which are in themselves currently being studied by scientists, but one of the major effects of ocean acidification is it’s degradation of calcifying marine organisms, which as stated before, corals are. Another type of calcifying marine organism is a type of plankton which helps to shade the ocean from the direct rays of the sun, and as this type of plankton is affected by the acidity of the ocean it dies, creating a cycle of rising ocean temperatures. Cheryl Lyn Dybas wrote a paper called, “On a Collision Course: Ocean Plankton and Climate Change,” and in this paper she quotes scientists Helen Coxall and Steve D'Hondt as saying, “Plankton ecosystems in Earth's oceans took 3 million years to fully recover after the mass extinction event 65 million years ago…” (2006), this is obviously not good news for plankton, corals, reefs, or the global community as a whole. Global warming and the increased levels of carbon dioxide in the air are having multiple detrimental effects on the oceans and on coral reefs in general. These effects all combine to create long term devastation of coral reefs due to coral bleaching, as well as the skeletons of corals being degraded by ocean acidification.
Another threat to coral reefs is nutrient pollution; attributed to many things, nutrient pollution is caused by, “…agricultural runoff, sewage pollution, and deforestation” (Bruno, 2004). More or less the problem is that different types of corals, which previously stated shed their skeletons to create the structure of coral reefs, are susceptible to various diseases. Two of the diseases that affect corals are Aspergillosis and Yellow Band Disease. In a paper entitled "Nutrient Pollution Aggravates Coral Diseases," John Bruno, an Assistant Professor of Marine Sciences at the University of North Carolina, and his colleagues discussed the findings of their research conducted by exposing coral to concentrated nutrient levels found in agricultural fertilizers; their research shows that, “As nutrient concentrations increased two- to fivefold, yellow-band-related tissue loss … nearly doubled… The severity of Aspergillosis … also increased as nutrient levels increased. This shows that corals and in effect coral reefs are being affected by nutrient pollution. Humans have a great impact on the oceans of the earth, and in effect upon the organisms that live within the oceans; it is imperative that as a global community humans monitor the amount of waste that is allowed to spread into the ocean and affect coral reefs and all other resources that exist in the ocean.
At the same time, rising ocean temperatures, ocean acidification, and nutrient pollution are not the only things affecting coral reefs, there are also aggressive commercial fishing activities that are having adverse effects on the reefs as well. There are various fishing practices that fall into this category, for example blast fishing, cyanide fishing, bottom sea trawling, and over-fishing are all having negative effects on coral reefs. Blast fishing usually involves the use of dynamite or grenades to catch fish, inadvertently destroying anything that may be near the blast wave of the explosive device, such as coral or coral reefs. Cyanide fishing, according to The Coral Reef Alliance, is a process involving, “fishers dive down to the reef and squirt[ing] cyanide in coral crevices and on the fast-moving fish, to stun the fish making them easy to catch. Although some large tropical fish can metabolize cyanide, smaller fish and other marine animals, such as coral polyps, are poisoned by the chemical cloud produced during this process” (2007). At the same time bottom sea trawling is a commercial fishing technique using, “…steel rollers that clear the path for the net to come behind, so that the net doesn't snag on anything” (The Coral Reef Alliance, 2007), inevitably the rollers also destroy anything in their path, including delicate coral reefs. Of course another problem is over-fishing of coral reef habitats. This in essence disturbs the natural cycle of things, throwing off the food-chain and causing reefs to no longer function in the natural rhythm of nature.
The point being argued, that humans are having a direct detrimental effect on coral reefs, is refuted by some, usually the same people that oppose the idea that humans are a large contributing factor to global warming as a whole. The opposition to the idea of humans being a direct and large part of global warming seems to include those such as George W. Bush, current President of the United States. However, it is also interesting to look deeper into the issue at hand and see that most of those opposed to the idea of global warming and how to deal with it, are also either directly or indirectly involved in big business that would be financially hurt if the hand of blame was to fall toward the side of human involvement in global warming. It is also interesting to see the fact that in 2001 the Bush Administration voted down the Kyoto Protocol, an international treaty put together as a way of dealing with the growing global warming problem. However, with the Bush Administration’s not so popular reign of power the fact that the Kyoto Protocol was voted down proved to raise the publics eyes to the fact that perhaps there was a problem of global proportions and that it needed to be looked at closer. Clive Cook published an article in the publication Atlantic Monthly, that claims by the year, “…2003, after the president had killed any prospect of American involvement [with the Kyoto Protocol], more than 90 percent of Americans were telling pollsters that they had heard of global warming…” (Cook, 2008). This is an interesting fact, a kind of twist of fate that a president who was not in support of a protocol designed to combat global warming, in effect caused the public to become more aware of the issue that he was trying to dodge (Cook, 2008). Another point of interest is that the Kyoto Protocol is being revised and is still under scrutiny by the international community, with the United States currently being one of the largest violators of the protocols demands, the Bush Administration still refuses to ratify the agreement. However, David Doniger of the Natural resources Defense Council was quoted in US News and World Report, as saying, “They are aware the U.S. is going to field a different team in the second half of these negotiations than in the first half" (Lavelle, 2007), meaning that those trying to get the United States to ratify the protocol know that the Bush Administration is on it’s way out and are hoping that the new administration that takes office will be more receptive to the idea of dealing with carbon emissions and the effect that it is having on the global community (Lavelle, 2007).
As a whole, coral reefs are being threatened by human impact in multiple ways both directly and indirectly. Carbon dioxide emissions are one of the largest areas of this impact affecting reefs, but there is also pollution and commercial fishing. The reefs are incredible places to visit and recreate, the aesthetic beauty that they possess is almost unparalleled anywhere else on earth, however the benefits of coral reefs as economic and environmental resources stretch even farther than the purely aesthetic value of them. It is important as a global community to think about the importance that these often overlooked structures play in the overall well-being of the earth’s oceans, and as a global environmentally conscience community, it is important to do all we can to ensure that these beautiful, diverse, and incredible habitats are not destroyed in the coming years.
Bruno, J. (2004). Nutrient Pollution Aggravates Coral Diseases. Water Environment & Technology, 16(3), 10. Retrieved March 24, 2008, from ASTA Database (BAST04117983).
Cook, C. (2008, April). Sins of Emission. Atlantic Monthly, 301(3), 32-34. Retrieved April 13, 2008, from Academic Search Premier Database (31229695).
Coral Reef. (2007). Encyclomedia: Free Online Encyclopedia. Retrieved 24 March, 2008, from http://www.encyclomedia.com/coral_reef.html
The Coral Reef Alliance. (2007). Retrieved March 24, 2008, from http://coralreef.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=62&Itemid=72
Coral Threatened by Warmer Caribbean Waters. (2006). Water Environment & Technology, 18(4), 29. Retrieved March 24, 2008, from ASTA Database (BAST06123051).
Davis, C. (2007, September). Ocean Acidification, the Other Threat of Rising CO2 Emissions. Time for Change. Retrieved March 24, 2008, from http://timeforchange.org/ocean-acidification-effect-of-global-warming
Dybas, C.L. (2006). On a Collision Course: Ocean Plankton and Climate Change. Bioscience, 56(8), 642-646. Retrieved March 24, 2008, from ASFA Database (7233874).
Freeman, M. (2003). About Corals & Coral Reefs. Coral Reef Adventure. Retrieved March 24, 2008, from http://www.coralfilm.com/about.html#issues
Gutro, R. (2004). NASA Satellites See El Nino Creep in From the Indian Ocean. National Atmospheric and Space Administration. Retrieved March 24, 2008, from http://www.nasa.gov/vision/earth/lookingatearth/elnino_ocean.html
Lavelle, M. (2007, December 10). Climate Clash, Round 2. US News and World Report, 143(20), 21-22. Retrieved April 13, 2008, from Academic Search Premier Database (27708734).
Workshop for Steven G.'s Essay #3 Rough Draft
1. Original Thesis - "Although blame is often put on professional athletes, our society is responsible for the popularity of steroids because it glorifies all-stars, pushes young athletes, and fails to effectively reprove known users" (G.S., 2008).
Thesis Restated - Although professional athletes are often blamed for the widespread use of steroids among young adults, our society is causing young people to use steroids because it glorifies professional athletes, places too much pressure on young athletes, and fails to effectively educate and reprimand known users of steroids.
2. I do not see the cause or effect statement within the claim, I do see a position stated, however I do not see stated within the thesis statement a cause or effect steroid use is having upon the young people of today. The thesis statement is stated at the end of the first paragraph.
3. The author is stating that society is causing steroid use among young athletes, I believe.
4. The effect is that young athletes are turning to steroid use to boost performance.
Audience:
The audience is the public at large I would say, especially the parents of young adult athletes. The audience I would assume is already in agreeance with the author, but the author is bringing up a point that perhaps many of them do not think about, which is good.
Counterargument:
I do not see any counterarguments to the claim right off hand.
Title:
Steroids: Destroying America's Youth
Introduction:
Yes I do believe that the lead sentence, "What was once simply just a way for bodybuilders to gain a competitive edge, steroids are now endangering the lives of millions of Americans" (G.S., 2008), catches the readers attention. Perhaps a real statistic about the widespread use of steroids among young athletes would really hit the point home.
Conclusion:
Perhaps the author could suggest a solution that society could start with, such as not idolizing professional sports people, not buying their merchandise, etc., instead of offering the only solution as to wait until, "...professional sports organizations do something to buckle down on steroid use" (G.S., 2008).
Transitions:
The paragraphs do seem to flow fairly well, however perhaps the author can add a space between paragraphs to help seperate them from one another.
Side Note:
I really liked the paper overall, good message and well written. However, I would look back at the MLA or APA Guidelines before publishing the final draft in order to ensure that they are being followed correctly, including a works cited or reference list at the end of the paper.
S.G. (2008). Essay 3 Rough Draft. My English 213 Blog. Retrieved April 13, 2008, from http://steven213.blogspot.com/2008/04/essay-3-rough-draft.html
Thesis Restated - Although professional athletes are often blamed for the widespread use of steroids among young adults, our society is causing young people to use steroids because it glorifies professional athletes, places too much pressure on young athletes, and fails to effectively educate and reprimand known users of steroids.
2. I do not see the cause or effect statement within the claim, I do see a position stated, however I do not see stated within the thesis statement a cause or effect steroid use is having upon the young people of today. The thesis statement is stated at the end of the first paragraph.
3. The author is stating that society is causing steroid use among young athletes, I believe.
4. The effect is that young athletes are turning to steroid use to boost performance.
Audience:
The audience is the public at large I would say, especially the parents of young adult athletes. The audience I would assume is already in agreeance with the author, but the author is bringing up a point that perhaps many of them do not think about, which is good.
Counterargument:
I do not see any counterarguments to the claim right off hand.
Title:
Steroids: Destroying America's Youth
Introduction:
Yes I do believe that the lead sentence, "What was once simply just a way for bodybuilders to gain a competitive edge, steroids are now endangering the lives of millions of Americans" (G.S., 2008), catches the readers attention. Perhaps a real statistic about the widespread use of steroids among young athletes would really hit the point home.
Conclusion:
Perhaps the author could suggest a solution that society could start with, such as not idolizing professional sports people, not buying their merchandise, etc., instead of offering the only solution as to wait until, "...professional sports organizations do something to buckle down on steroid use" (G.S., 2008).
Transitions:
The paragraphs do seem to flow fairly well, however perhaps the author can add a space between paragraphs to help seperate them from one another.
Side Note:
I really liked the paper overall, good message and well written. However, I would look back at the MLA or APA Guidelines before publishing the final draft in order to ensure that they are being followed correctly, including a works cited or reference list at the end of the paper.
S.G. (2008). Essay 3 Rough Draft. My English 213 Blog. Retrieved April 13, 2008, from http://steven213.blogspot.com/2008/04/essay-3-rough-draft.html
The U.S. Army - Road to Indecision? (Essay #3, Rough Draft)
From television commercials to radio broadcasts, no matter where one goes there are always recruitment slogans and jargon being thrown around to join the U.S. Army. Most of these slogans and statements focus on one of two things, the first being a call to duty of American’s to serve their country and the other one being a claim that joining the army and becoming a soldier will make them a “better” person, such as “The army provides a remarkable environment for personal growth…” (U.S. Army, 2008). This claim is invalid and the allusions that the recruitment personnel use are far from truthful. Although joining the army is marketed as something that will build character and make one a stronger individual, joining as a young adult actually causes a degradation of morals, character, and independence because while in the army one is encouraged to partake in activities that never allow them to grow up, one's choices are very limited and mandated by someone else, and because one is forced to adhere to strict regulations without being able to have free thought in deciding one's own actions.
In today’s world there is a definite need for a combat ready force capable of defending the nation at a moments notice; the author is not claiming to refute the fact that the United States of America needs a military, nor is the author making the claim that it is not honorable to serve in any branch of the military, including the U.S. Army. However, the author is claiming that the recruiters working to draw the attention of the young adults within this country are making claims and allusions to things that are not true in their ploy to enlist young people into their ranks.
Most people think that “growing up” and becoming mature means something along the lines of learning enough life skills to move out on one’s own, becoming financially independent from one’s parents or guardian, and more or less becoming independent in general. The army often markets itself as a path to independence; a way for someone to magically step through a door and go from being a boy to a man, or a girl to a woman, however this is not true. In fact the day to day activities of most soldiers do not at all reflect the responsibilities or norms of being mature in civilian life. While on the job it is true that soldiers are given responsibility for a variety of tasks and leadership roles that would normally not be given to them in the civilian world, however, it is also true that after the last formation of the day most soldiers find themselves holed up in their barracks room playing video games and drinking beer. When the weekend rolls around you will find the majority of soldiers getting drunk, that is the major pastime of the soldier. Now this may sound like the normal college age pastime, and may not in fact sound that alarming, until one looks at the fact that drinking and video games are not only a serve as the main hobby and interest of the college age soldiers, but also of the over-forty age group as well. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), in a report entitled Alcohol Use and Preventing Alcohol-Related Problems Among Young Adults in the Military, prepared by Genevieve Ames and Carol Cunradi, “Of the young men in all branches of the military, 32.2 percent engaged in heavy drinking, compared with 17.8 percent of civilian men” (Ames & Cunradi, 2004). To the public the army gives of the front of caring about the soldiers and looking down upon alcoholism and drinking in general, however when it comes to what goes on day to day within the walls of the barracks, alcohol flows freely and soldiers are encouraged to drink while off duty. Could this be a ploy to keep young adults in the army as time goes by and the choice comes up to stay in or get out; to make them so used to not growing up that they cannot face the “real world” when the time of their enlistment has come to an end?
In the “real world” when a young adult graduates high school and is faced with the decisions of life, they often find it hard at first to cope with the decisions at hand. They have to decide what college to go to, what to major in, what kind of job to get, what town they want to live in, etc. However, upon entering the army the individual is stripped of all choice in these matters. The last decision one makes upon joining the army is what job they would like to do, beyond that it is the government that calls the shots in every aspect of one’s life. A young person in the army is told what to wear, what to eat, where to eat and when, where to live, and when they will be moving; there is no longer any time in the young persons life to make decisions for themselves. So how does this lead to independence and becoming a stronger person? It doesn’t, this leads to one being dependent upon someone else to make the decision within one’s life, causing a very hard to break personality trait of indecision if and when that young person decides to one day leave the army life and return to the civilian world.
Bad lifestyle choices and indecision are not the only things that the army does not talk about when offering their recruitment propaganda, they also fail to mention the fact that on a day to day basis a soldier is told how they will act; there is no room for an individual in the army, truth be told the word “individual” actually has bad connotations attached to it in modern day army life. When one acts as an individual in the army it is looked at as an act of defiance against the very foundation of the army way, instead one is expected to follow everyone else and do as they are told, free-thinking and open thought are looked down upon until one gains a certain amount of rank, which is looked at like respect in the civilian world. However, unlike the civilian world, where one is more times than not looked well upon for offering unique ideas and thinking “outside the box,” the army discourages this because many leaders are not properly trained, and instead rely upon scare tactics and threats to demand respect instead of earning it. This in itself causes those who join the army to become less independent and more reliant upon others to not only make decisions for them, but to also define them.
The decision of a young person to join the United States Army is a very important and life changing one; a decision that will change the rest of their life. The author, after having served five years in both garrison and combat operations, is in no way saying that the army is a bad choice for anyone. Some of the brightest and most incredible people the author has ever met were among those he served with in the U.S. Army; however the decision to join needs to be given the respect that it deserves. If one is thinking of joining the army make sure that person is doing it for the right reasons, not because they have some idealistic idea that it is going to make them a better person. No matter what reason one joins, make sure that they already have a good bearing on who they are and what type of morals and ethics they hold; make sure they already have a good character and enter the army with the idea that the individual is going to make it a better organization to serve, instead of the organization making the individual a better person for serving.
U.S. Army. (2008). Retrieved April 12, 2008, from http://www.goarmy.com/for_parents/personal_growth.jsp
Ames, G., & Cunradi, C. (2004). Alcohol Use and Preventing Alcohol-Related Problems Among Young Adults in the Military. Retrieved April 12, 2008, from http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/arh284/252-257.htm
In today’s world there is a definite need for a combat ready force capable of defending the nation at a moments notice; the author is not claiming to refute the fact that the United States of America needs a military, nor is the author making the claim that it is not honorable to serve in any branch of the military, including the U.S. Army. However, the author is claiming that the recruiters working to draw the attention of the young adults within this country are making claims and allusions to things that are not true in their ploy to enlist young people into their ranks.
Most people think that “growing up” and becoming mature means something along the lines of learning enough life skills to move out on one’s own, becoming financially independent from one’s parents or guardian, and more or less becoming independent in general. The army often markets itself as a path to independence; a way for someone to magically step through a door and go from being a boy to a man, or a girl to a woman, however this is not true. In fact the day to day activities of most soldiers do not at all reflect the responsibilities or norms of being mature in civilian life. While on the job it is true that soldiers are given responsibility for a variety of tasks and leadership roles that would normally not be given to them in the civilian world, however, it is also true that after the last formation of the day most soldiers find themselves holed up in their barracks room playing video games and drinking beer. When the weekend rolls around you will find the majority of soldiers getting drunk, that is the major pastime of the soldier. Now this may sound like the normal college age pastime, and may not in fact sound that alarming, until one looks at the fact that drinking and video games are not only a serve as the main hobby and interest of the college age soldiers, but also of the over-forty age group as well. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), in a report entitled Alcohol Use and Preventing Alcohol-Related Problems Among Young Adults in the Military, prepared by Genevieve Ames and Carol Cunradi, “Of the young men in all branches of the military, 32.2 percent engaged in heavy drinking, compared with 17.8 percent of civilian men” (Ames & Cunradi, 2004). To the public the army gives of the front of caring about the soldiers and looking down upon alcoholism and drinking in general, however when it comes to what goes on day to day within the walls of the barracks, alcohol flows freely and soldiers are encouraged to drink while off duty. Could this be a ploy to keep young adults in the army as time goes by and the choice comes up to stay in or get out; to make them so used to not growing up that they cannot face the “real world” when the time of their enlistment has come to an end?
In the “real world” when a young adult graduates high school and is faced with the decisions of life, they often find it hard at first to cope with the decisions at hand. They have to decide what college to go to, what to major in, what kind of job to get, what town they want to live in, etc. However, upon entering the army the individual is stripped of all choice in these matters. The last decision one makes upon joining the army is what job they would like to do, beyond that it is the government that calls the shots in every aspect of one’s life. A young person in the army is told what to wear, what to eat, where to eat and when, where to live, and when they will be moving; there is no longer any time in the young persons life to make decisions for themselves. So how does this lead to independence and becoming a stronger person? It doesn’t, this leads to one being dependent upon someone else to make the decision within one’s life, causing a very hard to break personality trait of indecision if and when that young person decides to one day leave the army life and return to the civilian world.
Bad lifestyle choices and indecision are not the only things that the army does not talk about when offering their recruitment propaganda, they also fail to mention the fact that on a day to day basis a soldier is told how they will act; there is no room for an individual in the army, truth be told the word “individual” actually has bad connotations attached to it in modern day army life. When one acts as an individual in the army it is looked at as an act of defiance against the very foundation of the army way, instead one is expected to follow everyone else and do as they are told, free-thinking and open thought are looked down upon until one gains a certain amount of rank, which is looked at like respect in the civilian world. However, unlike the civilian world, where one is more times than not looked well upon for offering unique ideas and thinking “outside the box,” the army discourages this because many leaders are not properly trained, and instead rely upon scare tactics and threats to demand respect instead of earning it. This in itself causes those who join the army to become less independent and more reliant upon others to not only make decisions for them, but to also define them.
The decision of a young person to join the United States Army is a very important and life changing one; a decision that will change the rest of their life. The author, after having served five years in both garrison and combat operations, is in no way saying that the army is a bad choice for anyone. Some of the brightest and most incredible people the author has ever met were among those he served with in the U.S. Army; however the decision to join needs to be given the respect that it deserves. If one is thinking of joining the army make sure that person is doing it for the right reasons, not because they have some idealistic idea that it is going to make them a better person. No matter what reason one joins, make sure that they already have a good bearing on who they are and what type of morals and ethics they hold; make sure they already have a good character and enter the army with the idea that the individual is going to make it a better organization to serve, instead of the organization making the individual a better person for serving.
U.S. Army. (2008). Retrieved April 12, 2008, from http://www.goarmy.com/for_parents/personal_growth.jsp
Ames, G., & Cunradi, C. (2004). Alcohol Use and Preventing Alcohol-Related Problems Among Young Adults in the Military. Retrieved April 12, 2008, from http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/arh284/252-257.htm
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Workshop for Xia Baker's Research Paper (Rough Draft)
Overall
1. What do you like best about the paper?
- Overall I think the paper was honestly very good. It was well written, blending lots of statistical information with an informative style of writing while keeping a good balance as to not have the reader feel too consumed by quotes or the like.
2. Authors particular area of concern.
- I found that there were good transitions between all of the main points mentioned in the thesis statement except one. That would be the transition between the effects of global warming and glacial retreat. As far as jumping from topic to topic, no I think that there is a lot of valuable information presented within the paper.
Thesis
3. Does the author clearly express his/her opinion of the topic in the thesis? What argument does the thesis make?
- Yes the author definitely makes her opinion known within the thesis of the essay; she is arguing that polar bears will soon be extinct due to global warming, glacial recession, beach erosion, and environmental changes to the ecosystem.
4. What group of people agrees with the author? What group disagrees with the author?
- The author seems to be speaking to the public generally, however I did not notice anywhere that the author specifically addressed the oppositions viewpoint.
5. Does the paper have an argumentative thesis statement using ALTHOUGH and BECAUSE?
- The thesis statement of the paper does follow the format of the “although” and “because.”
Content
6. On a scale of 1 to 10, how interesting did you find this paper to read? Be brutally honest!
- To be brutally honest, I would give this paper an 8 out of 10, with 10 being “oh my god I can’t stop reading this.” I think that’s really pretty good. It definitely made me realize that I have a lot of work to do on my own paper.
7. Where can the author more fully develop ideas, either by providing examples or explaining/clarifying concepts for the reader? Be specific (e.g. “the 3rd is dullsville”; “the conclusion is really vague”).
- It is in my opinion that although there is a ton of really good information in the paper, the topic of polar bears is not brought about until the last point in the paper. However, given the fact that your thesis makes it appear as though polar bears and the effects that all the points listed are having on the polar bears is your main topic, perhaps they should be mentioned a bit more throughout the paper.
8. What kinds of objections might someone who disagrees with the author’s point of view raise?
- Opposition would probably argue that many of the effects being discussed are caused by natural cycles and phenomena rather than human impact. One topic in particular that is strongly refuted is the idea of global warming itself; some would say that global warming is just a natural cycle as the Earth is moving closer to the sun, etc. There are many opposing viewpoints that could be addressed.
9. Has the author dealt with these objections?
- No the author needs to dedicate some more energy on addressing the opposition’s viewpoints.
10. Is the relationship between each paragraph and the thesis clear? If not, what suggestions do you have for the author to improve the connection?I would perhaps try to put in a lead sentence in each paragraph that introduces a new point that contains the exact terminology describing the main point within the thesis statement.
Style
11. Are there easy transitions from one paragraph to the next, or does the author jump from topic to topic?
- As stated earlier, I don’t believe that the paper jumps around too much, and the transitions are pretty good. However I would spend some time trying to make it more apparent while reading within each different main point, which main point that it is exactly is being discussed. Such as using the lead sentence method described above.
12. Does the opening of the essay capture the reader’s attention? How so? If not, what suggestions can you make that might strengthen the opening?
- I would say that the opening is pretty good, but perhaps a little stronger voice could be used. Such as when the author writes, “Polar bears face possible extinction due to global warming” (Baker, 2008), one could write, “Polar bears are on the verge of extinction and the killer is global warming,” or at least something to that effect.
13. Does the concluding paragraph serve to bring the discussion to an end that logically follows from the thesis and its direction?
- The problem that I see within the conclusion of the essay relates back directly to the content as well, and was briefly addressed earlier in this workshop. That is that in the thesis statement polar bears and the effects that these various climate changes are having on them was the main topic of the paper; however, in the body of the paper polar bears aren’t really even mentioned again until the last main point is discussed. Perhaps the other points need to be related a little better to polar bears and why they are going extinct. In the conclusion the author writes, “…polar bears could live longer without going extinct, glaciers will not retreat as fast, and beaches will not be eroded blocking access to shorelines” (Baker, 2008), however this makes it sounds as if polar bear extinction was just a point in the paper, not the main topic of the essay.
Research
14. . How many different sources are cited in the paper?
- There are fifteen sources cited within the paper. As previously stated, a lot of good research is presented.
15. Does the author rely heavily on just 1 or 2 sources, or does the author equally use all of the sources to support the paper’s thesis?
- The author does rely on a couple of the sources more than others, however I don’t believe it is so much as to constitute a problem. Some sources are just more useful than others.
16. Does the author have more quotes in his/her paper than personal opinion?
- There is probably more research and quotes then personal opinion, however it is done in a very nice way so that the reader is not distracted by the information, and it is presented in an informative way. There is a lot of paraphrasing that can be attributed to the success of the authors style.
17. Are there any sources listed on the Works Cited or References that are not cited within the body of the essay? (This is a no-no)
- It does not appear that any sources are listed that were not used in the paper.
18. Is all the information retrieved from research, including opinion, ideas, paraphrases, quotes, and statistics, cited with in-text (parenthetical) citations? If not, list specifics of what needs to be cited (friends don’t let friends turn in plagiarized papers).
- Yes, it appears that everything is cited well within the paragraphs, including paraphrasing.
19. All quotes in research papers should be commented upon. Does the author comment after every quote? If not, help the author decide what the underlying reason behind putting the quote in the paper was.
- It appears that the author commented on pretty much every quote.
Overall I would say the paper was well written, with a great blend of informative research and personal opinion. The biggest change that I would recommend is to relate the body of the paper more to the thesis; more to polar bears. Other than that there are a few more little suggestions up there that may or may not be helpful for you. Anyway though, I enjoyed reading your paper and wish you luck on your rewriting.
Baker, X. (2008). Global Warming Threatens Alaska’s Ecosystem. Xia’s English 213 Blog. Retrieved March 30, 2008, from http://xia-xia08.blogspot.com/2008/03/research-paper-rough-draft-english-213.html
1. What do you like best about the paper?
- Overall I think the paper was honestly very good. It was well written, blending lots of statistical information with an informative style of writing while keeping a good balance as to not have the reader feel too consumed by quotes or the like.
2. Authors particular area of concern.
- I found that there were good transitions between all of the main points mentioned in the thesis statement except one. That would be the transition between the effects of global warming and glacial retreat. As far as jumping from topic to topic, no I think that there is a lot of valuable information presented within the paper.
Thesis
3. Does the author clearly express his/her opinion of the topic in the thesis? What argument does the thesis make?
- Yes the author definitely makes her opinion known within the thesis of the essay; she is arguing that polar bears will soon be extinct due to global warming, glacial recession, beach erosion, and environmental changes to the ecosystem.
4. What group of people agrees with the author? What group disagrees with the author?
- The author seems to be speaking to the public generally, however I did not notice anywhere that the author specifically addressed the oppositions viewpoint.
5. Does the paper have an argumentative thesis statement using ALTHOUGH and BECAUSE?
- The thesis statement of the paper does follow the format of the “although” and “because.”
Content
6. On a scale of 1 to 10, how interesting did you find this paper to read? Be brutally honest!
- To be brutally honest, I would give this paper an 8 out of 10, with 10 being “oh my god I can’t stop reading this.” I think that’s really pretty good. It definitely made me realize that I have a lot of work to do on my own paper.
7. Where can the author more fully develop ideas, either by providing examples or explaining/clarifying concepts for the reader? Be specific (e.g. “the 3rd is dullsville”; “the conclusion is really vague”).
- It is in my opinion that although there is a ton of really good information in the paper, the topic of polar bears is not brought about until the last point in the paper. However, given the fact that your thesis makes it appear as though polar bears and the effects that all the points listed are having on the polar bears is your main topic, perhaps they should be mentioned a bit more throughout the paper.
8. What kinds of objections might someone who disagrees with the author’s point of view raise?
- Opposition would probably argue that many of the effects being discussed are caused by natural cycles and phenomena rather than human impact. One topic in particular that is strongly refuted is the idea of global warming itself; some would say that global warming is just a natural cycle as the Earth is moving closer to the sun, etc. There are many opposing viewpoints that could be addressed.
9. Has the author dealt with these objections?
- No the author needs to dedicate some more energy on addressing the opposition’s viewpoints.
10. Is the relationship between each paragraph and the thesis clear? If not, what suggestions do you have for the author to improve the connection?I would perhaps try to put in a lead sentence in each paragraph that introduces a new point that contains the exact terminology describing the main point within the thesis statement.
Style
11. Are there easy transitions from one paragraph to the next, or does the author jump from topic to topic?
- As stated earlier, I don’t believe that the paper jumps around too much, and the transitions are pretty good. However I would spend some time trying to make it more apparent while reading within each different main point, which main point that it is exactly is being discussed. Such as using the lead sentence method described above.
12. Does the opening of the essay capture the reader’s attention? How so? If not, what suggestions can you make that might strengthen the opening?
- I would say that the opening is pretty good, but perhaps a little stronger voice could be used. Such as when the author writes, “Polar bears face possible extinction due to global warming” (Baker, 2008), one could write, “Polar bears are on the verge of extinction and the killer is global warming,” or at least something to that effect.
13. Does the concluding paragraph serve to bring the discussion to an end that logically follows from the thesis and its direction?
- The problem that I see within the conclusion of the essay relates back directly to the content as well, and was briefly addressed earlier in this workshop. That is that in the thesis statement polar bears and the effects that these various climate changes are having on them was the main topic of the paper; however, in the body of the paper polar bears aren’t really even mentioned again until the last main point is discussed. Perhaps the other points need to be related a little better to polar bears and why they are going extinct. In the conclusion the author writes, “…polar bears could live longer without going extinct, glaciers will not retreat as fast, and beaches will not be eroded blocking access to shorelines” (Baker, 2008), however this makes it sounds as if polar bear extinction was just a point in the paper, not the main topic of the essay.
Research
14. . How many different sources are cited in the paper?
- There are fifteen sources cited within the paper. As previously stated, a lot of good research is presented.
15. Does the author rely heavily on just 1 or 2 sources, or does the author equally use all of the sources to support the paper’s thesis?
- The author does rely on a couple of the sources more than others, however I don’t believe it is so much as to constitute a problem. Some sources are just more useful than others.
16. Does the author have more quotes in his/her paper than personal opinion?
- There is probably more research and quotes then personal opinion, however it is done in a very nice way so that the reader is not distracted by the information, and it is presented in an informative way. There is a lot of paraphrasing that can be attributed to the success of the authors style.
17. Are there any sources listed on the Works Cited or References that are not cited within the body of the essay? (This is a no-no)
- It does not appear that any sources are listed that were not used in the paper.
18. Is all the information retrieved from research, including opinion, ideas, paraphrases, quotes, and statistics, cited with in-text (parenthetical) citations? If not, list specifics of what needs to be cited (friends don’t let friends turn in plagiarized papers).
- Yes, it appears that everything is cited well within the paragraphs, including paraphrasing.
19. All quotes in research papers should be commented upon. Does the author comment after every quote? If not, help the author decide what the underlying reason behind putting the quote in the paper was.
- It appears that the author commented on pretty much every quote.
Overall I would say the paper was well written, with a great blend of informative research and personal opinion. The biggest change that I would recommend is to relate the body of the paper more to the thesis; more to polar bears. Other than that there are a few more little suggestions up there that may or may not be helpful for you. Anyway though, I enjoyed reading your paper and wish you luck on your rewriting.
Baker, X. (2008). Global Warming Threatens Alaska’s Ecosystem. Xia’s English 213 Blog. Retrieved March 30, 2008, from http://xia-xia08.blogspot.com/2008/03/research-paper-rough-draft-english-213.html
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